fisher king's wasteland

suddenly, i realized that when i take my coffee i flick my brown sugar packets just like a junkie flicks the needle though i flinch to see parents feed their kids to pennywise the clown, referring to him as ronald while they're consumed by their meals to make him happy for a hundred years we've been lied to about the meaning of "healthy", because what's good for the economy isn't what's good for our bodies rather we stand strapped in to our factory line in industrial paradise while waiting for the animals on theirs to be chopped into shapes and sizes that we don't recognize before being fed into ours we're hooked up to suction cups to be milked for our money as we're drawn into the mouth of the medical machine that connects asses to hearts so that we can last just a little bit longer that connects tubes of little pills to our pockets as we pass on by keeping us drugged as we circle around back to the beginning again kafka hims

for fourteen years i wished my father dead at the age of eighteen i buried him it would take another six years to be rid of his physical body it's been a decade since he died, but he still sneaks his whispers through my throat whenever you and i fight grips my vocal cords and squeezes tight strangling tones i wonder sometimes if he thinks that he's defending me or if this is his revenge exposing himself to *my* loved ones sliding his arrogance and his violence beneath words that i'd intended to use soothingly the horror that i feel when i hear myself overridden and see my own responses reflected in yours is the stomp of his feet on my steps the thump-thump-thumping that says a beating's coming it's in the tightening in my chest when you put me in my place when you hold up a mirror for me to see his angry, desperate, lonely face but i'll never be like him i'll never burn myself to set fire to others never revel in the type of winning t